Dream 3: Hyperdream

I keep a dream log on my phone. It helps me remember my dreams. I’m not sure this is a good plan.

—–dream log—–

Woke up to find a patch of grass growing on my leg here my dog had rested on me. Panic slightly. Look under the sink for Lysol to disinfect leg. Friend hands me some, we start cleaning my leg. The cleaner comes out as foam, I look and discover it is hair mousse. That isn’t going to work.

Waiting at the bus stop on a floating Nore island. I have a mix of change and small ceramic items, plus some fake Egyptian coins. Most everyone is an asshole. Piano boat floats by. The tap water is carbonated.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. You know what’s a horrible movie? Problem Child 2.

Listening to a really good song from the 50s, the lyrics are about measuring. Box top glued to my hand, I spend the song alternately singing along and scraping the glue off. Song had a video featuring Fry Boy at the end.

Mad at Ozzy because he ate all the cheesecake.

Small town where there are only older adults. Living in an old house with telephone rooms. It had a pool in the living room sometimes. There was going to be rain. Town meeting about the flooding. I had a plan. Town teenagers come over to be bitches and invite me to prom. One girl insults my friend, Flaggy, and I beat her up. No longer invited. I just want to go to CVS for some Chapstick.

Fisher Stevens. Never forget.

Trail mix that consists of freeze dried holiday pie slices.

Bought Ashley a bunch of birthday presents, including a belt with a full sized glittery mannequin attached. We discussed how one is supposed to keep leather purses in the fridge, but that is inconvenient because we like food to go there.

I am continuously lost in Pat Benatar school.

Guy going to kidnap me at the support market and make me live on a tiny boat with my name on it. Run/slide out of there. Running through the parking lot, I feed my tracking device to some tiny dogs floating around in balloons.

Man in another direction stuffed in a too small vw bug as art. He slowly moves. Is a killer but can’t move fast enough to get you, but his eyes, you can tell he sees you.

Animal planet my pet Bochy contest.

On a trip to Alabama. Ketchup menu board. Worried that people would eat the ketchup so you could no longer read the menu. Holiday where everyone wears creepy/funny hats.

Rhianna’s new song, Hold me close and I will touch your penis.

David explaining computer ports to me, “… that’s the rainbow chort and those are the oxidizers…”

—–end dream—–

These Dreams are Made of Bees

Friend has huge feather in her hair. At party. Smurf was there. Riding recumbent bike. What street to take? This is a musical.

Big downhill slide to get to downhill tram.

Tell Sandra Bullock that she is a real asshole.

Really steep staircase made of couch cushions. Almost fall off and die. Not great design.

Try to walk outside bbq restaurant food court, leads to long pitch black slide tube then opens to a neighborhood with a ball pit in the middle. Mad that most of the ball pit is fake. Only the part you initially land on is real. We realize we’re trapped, try to escape. Giant remote controlled sports car. It’s green.

Featherless turkeys everywhere. I run at them screaming to escape. I just want to eat my cheesecake.

Conan O’Brien performing his new song, “killing it on the dance floor.” It is about Warcraft.

Rather large bee rises from the dead. It is the size of a mouse.

Ordering full volume of Lifetime Television picture books, starting with Unauthorized Melrose Place.

Haunted toilet.

Evidence bottle not marked. Give to Perry Mason, who immediately wheels into a huge pit to protect it. He dies.

I have a small hat. You can’t see it. It is a hat on a molecular level.

I keep a Dream Log

I keep this log in the hope that I may make sense of all this at a later date.

“In college, on way to wedding design class, French – British war about to break out. Bringing two friends to class to hide from war. Stop at on campus motel 6 to pick up one friends bag. There is a raccoon in the room. Friend and managers do to get bag/catch raccoon. Friend calls raccoon her niece. Tell them to hurry, class starts in a second.

Climbing Texas hill at night, escalator tube, required glow in the dark luggage.

War strawberries are an annoyance.

Eyeliner you can log into and use across state lines.

Giant motor home thing with trees, expanding foam doll landscape.

Dozers were evil-stupid and were going to kill someone over onion rings and a painting. I stole the painting so she wouldn’t die.

Giant bag of coffee from Costco was spilling all over the office. Trying to get it into bags to save it.

Johnny Depp is the evil overlord to the world and keeps messing with my reality in order to prove his powers. I go to Tom Hanks for help but he tricks me and is in league with evil Depp. Fucking tiny round glasses.

There is a waffle on his cheese house.

Creepy red headed dolls stacked in the shower, smiling at me. When I look away, one will always fall down. Shove them into the shower and slam the door.

Ripping the wings of dragon costume.

Pool in the middle of the god dammed road. Where it looks like an Aztec temple. Gah, pool is under construction. I am shocked by exposed wires. Ow.

Tiny yellow dragons that get stuck on your shirt.

Group public dance website themed restaurant. Food sucks, too expensive. Leg growing from my chest. Trying to remember David’s phone number, only remembering phone number from blind girl movie.

Jake Peavy and Vanilla Ice are the same person.

The one where I married Ed Harris.”

Hello, I am Pink Tom Cruise.

Hello, I am Pink Tom Cruise.